hey guys,
i just wanted to keep you updated. my spanish exam was on thursday and i totally messed it up,
but it's my fault i didn't study during easter break, but spend my time on 9gag and tumblr >_<
well, as we probably all know, nothing really good has happened to me, without life messing it up the next moment.
i met this guy, who i really liked even though he's totally not that type of i guy i thought i would fall for.
you know, i have this perfect guy in my mind that i hope to find one day: blue eyes, dark hair, musician, funny, cute, honest, gentleman and the list goes on and on.
and this guy is like the total opposite, he only knows the names of the guitar strings, he can't sing, has a supid humour and is super cocky, probably not a perfect guy, but i still do like him. after weeks of wondering which kind of feelings i had for him and realizing that i should give it a try, he saw one of my friends. and i guess he fell in love with her. he keeps asking me about her, tells me how pretty she is and reminds me that she's always on his mind. and me, being the nice person that i am, i keep the things she said about him for me, tell him that he should go for her and pretend that i am happy for him.
i'm just so tired. tired of always being the third wheel in every f*cking situation. tired of being the second choice.
tired of being that girl guys don't fall for.
P.S. currently listening to this cover of "without you" by max schneider, his voice is beautiful.
P.P.S. i'm so sorry, for all those depressing posts, but life hasn't been kind to me in a while.
i think that i’m useless, i don't find myself skinny, pretty, beautiful. but i'm not looking for attention at all, i'm just expressing myself by blogging about my mood. and i know it's all depressing but it's how i feel. i dont want sympathy from anyone seriously. so i try to be really sweet with everyone because i dont wish anything that i’ve been through to anyone. and i hate myself.
hello lovelies,
im sorry i wanted to do a post about my trip to brighton, but i totally forgot about it.
at the moment my life is good, but i'm aware that life is gong to fuck up everything any moment.
i'm just so tired of my ups and downs and i'm wondering if i'm bipolar, because recently i realized that
i'm in a dark hole when i'm sad and i can hug the whole world, when i'm happy.
and at the moment i'm feeling happy. since i started to work, i wake up early, even on sundays.
the only downside to it is that i go to sleep right after work, while others at my age are getting ready for clubbing.
but who cares, i've never been this type of girl and i like being myself.
actually i have to do a lot for school, prepare two presentations and study for my spanish exam, which is in exactly a week. thank god, we don't have school, otherwise i wouldn't survive this.
oh, and i finally got my camera, which makes me really happy :-)
i saved my birthday money and my first salary and bought it myself, but i got
the bag and teh memory card as an early easter present. i'm still trying to figure out how it works, though.
maybe i'll post a few pictures on my next post.
and OH-EM-GEE, bubzbeauty replied to one of my comments on her newest video!
this makes me so happy, because she's my idol and inspires me everyday.
im sorry i wanted to do a post about my trip to brighton, but i totally forgot about it.
at the moment my life is good, but i'm aware that life is gong to fuck up everything any moment.
i'm just so tired of my ups and downs and i'm wondering if i'm bipolar, because recently i realized that
i'm in a dark hole when i'm sad and i can hug the whole world, when i'm happy.
and at the moment i'm feeling happy. since i started to work, i wake up early, even on sundays.
the only downside to it is that i go to sleep right after work, while others at my age are getting ready for clubbing.
but who cares, i've never been this type of girl and i like being myself.
actually i have to do a lot for school, prepare two presentations and study for my spanish exam, which is in exactly a week. thank god, we don't have school, otherwise i wouldn't survive this.
oh, and i finally got my camera, which makes me really happy :-)
i saved my birthday money and my first salary and bought it myself, but i got
the bag and teh memory card as an early easter present. i'm still trying to figure out how it works, though.
maybe i'll post a few pictures on my next post.
and OH-EM-GEE, bubzbeauty replied to one of my comments on her newest video!
this makes me so happy, because she's my idol and inspires me everyday.
hi everyone, how are yall doing?
i'm pretty good, or to be honest, i'm still alive. because i don't feel like there is anything good in my life at the moment. is it only me or is being a teenager just f*cked up?
drama, lies and tears. cheers to the teenage years ..
mom and me are getting along really well, which makes me happy. but my grades have been
going down this schoolyear so i'm trying to study as hard as i can and do all my homework right after lunch.
i just feel like nothing i do matters anyways, maybe that's the reason why i'm a mess.
oh, i got a new job by the way. now i'll only work on saturdays and last saturday was my first day.
the staff is really nice to me, but i haven't met everybody yet, so i'm kinda worried about it.
because i already only know like 2 names out of 5 and i don't want to meet more people.
whatever, the money will make up for all this. and i already talked to my mom, she said she would buy
me the camera and the microphone and i can just give back like half of the money when i get my salary.
but my mom already told me she would buy me the microphone for christmas and then she went to thailand.
so i can't really believe her haha :P
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i'm pretty good, or to be honest, i'm still alive. because i don't feel like there is anything good in my life at the moment. is it only me or is being a teenager just f*cked up?
drama, lies and tears. cheers to the teenage years ..
mom and me are getting along really well, which makes me happy. but my grades have been
going down this schoolyear so i'm trying to study as hard as i can and do all my homework right after lunch.
i just feel like nothing i do matters anyways, maybe that's the reason why i'm a mess.
oh, i got a new job by the way. now i'll only work on saturdays and last saturday was my first day.
the staff is really nice to me, but i haven't met everybody yet, so i'm kinda worried about it.
because i already only know like 2 names out of 5 and i don't want to meet more people.
whatever, the money will make up for all this. and i already talked to my mom, she said she would buy
me the camera and the microphone and i can just give back like half of the money when i get my salary.
but my mom already told me she would buy me the microphone for christmas and then she went to thailand.
so i can't really believe her haha :P
please excuse the picture, i have absolutely no idea what i am doing there. but hey, at least my nails look cute.
i decided to upload this picture, because this is the only one where my hair looks perfect. i love the colour and the cut. my mom cut my bangs yesterday, but they just didn't turn out like on this picture. and i rrrrrreally want them to like like this again. oh, and i'm going to die my hair brown again. probably in a week (:
and in two weeks i'm off to brrrrighton! i'm really exited, but kinda scared though, because only half of the people there feel safe at night. but my teacher said that a lot of british people feel unsafe in their own city at night.
i don't know if that's true or if she just tried to comfort me. but boy, it didn't.
so, i've been thinking about creating a make up channel on youtube, but i need a username.
and i'm like not good at creating screen names AT ALL. you know, i would never come up with something like bubzbeauty. it's just too much for my brain, so i would love you if you could comment me some suggestions ^_^
oh, and i've been thinking about deleting my blog recently. because my youtube screen-name for my music channel is the same as on piczo it kinda bothers me. because when you google 'tschwinnie' piczo is the first link taht comes up. and i honestly don't want people to see my blog. i mean, sure you guys read about my experiences, been through hard times and got to know all of my secrets and stuff that i haven't told ANYBODY yet. for example the letter to my dad. Ii never opened up that much and talked about my feelings like i did on this blog. after i did this i felt good, like a part of this weight i'e been carrying around for 10 years fell of my shoulders.
i don't mind that you guys read that, but i don't want my friends or stupid facebook people read this.
and because i can't change my username or url on piczo, i've been thinking about deleting my blog.
or giving it to someone else, but 'tschwinnielikescupcakes' is probably not a url someone would like to have :P
i would probably cry, i've been on here for almost 2 years and it was and still is an amazing experience.
but if i really need to delete this i wanna say that you guys were like real friends to me, i loved reading your posts and comments on my blog. every single one of you is amazing in your own way, never let anyone tell you something else. and don't forget: stay true to yourself, don't do drugs and eat your vegetables (:
P.S. sorry, if there are any spelling mistakes, it's already midnight and i'm too tired to read through it again to correct any mistakes.
i decided to upload this picture, because this is the only one where my hair looks perfect. i love the colour and the cut. my mom cut my bangs yesterday, but they just didn't turn out like on this picture. and i rrrrrreally want them to like like this again. oh, and i'm going to die my hair brown again. probably in a week (:
and in two weeks i'm off to brrrrighton! i'm really exited, but kinda scared though, because only half of the people there feel safe at night. but my teacher said that a lot of british people feel unsafe in their own city at night.
i don't know if that's true or if she just tried to comfort me. but boy, it didn't.
so, i've been thinking about creating a make up channel on youtube, but i need a username.
and i'm like not good at creating screen names AT ALL. you know, i would never come up with something like bubzbeauty. it's just too much for my brain, so i would love you if you could comment me some suggestions ^_^
oh, and i've been thinking about deleting my blog recently. because my youtube screen-name for my music channel is the same as on piczo it kinda bothers me. because when you google 'tschwinnie' piczo is the first link taht comes up. and i honestly don't want people to see my blog. i mean, sure you guys read about my experiences, been through hard times and got to know all of my secrets and stuff that i haven't told ANYBODY yet. for example the letter to my dad. Ii never opened up that much and talked about my feelings like i did on this blog. after i did this i felt good, like a part of this weight i'e been carrying around for 10 years fell of my shoulders.
i don't mind that you guys read that, but i don't want my friends or stupid facebook people read this.
and because i can't change my username or url on piczo, i've been thinking about deleting my blog.
or giving it to someone else, but 'tschwinnielikescupcakes' is probably not a url someone would like to have :P
i would probably cry, i've been on here for almost 2 years and it was and still is an amazing experience.
but if i really need to delete this i wanna say that you guys were like real friends to me, i loved reading your posts and comments on my blog. every single one of you is amazing in your own way, never let anyone tell you something else. and don't forget: stay true to yourself, don't do drugs and eat your vegetables (:
P.S. sorry, if there are any spelling mistakes, it's already midnight and i'm too tired to read through it again to correct any mistakes.
"OH MY OH MY OH MY GOSH!
i can't believe that i reached 1000 total followers!
like one THOUSAND!
this is insane. i don't even know what to say.
just thank you, thank you and thank you.
i potatoe-heart you all!"
so i finally found time to sit down and write something, i can't believe it's already 2012!
and i hope you had great holidays and a happy late new year ^_^
my birthday was about two weeks ago and my step father got me singing lessons,
because mom told him that i like to sing, which is really cool, because they are super expensive >_<
i don't really have new year's resolutions, because i think it's just a lame excuse for saying that you will do something, you don't have to wait for the new year.
but i think that i will improve my guitar and singing skills and just live life to the fullest.
mom is coming home in about two weeks, which makes me really happy.
lately i couldn't call her, cause i have school until 5pm almost everday and it would be too late to call her.
maybe i'll try it tomorrow. i never thought that i could handle cleaning, cooking and studying, but it does work.
okay, lately the house has been a mess, but i'm going to clean it tomorrow :P
i'm still really busy organizing prom and all the work are laura and me doing, but there are also two guys of our class helping us out, which is really nice of them, because on of them isn't even going to prom.
oh and i finally have a dress, but it doesn't look as good on me, because i'm short and the dress looks kinda big on me. but i'm going to wear monster heels, so the problem is solved.
i hope this year's prom will be better and i'll take more pictures than last year.
gotta go now, i'm thirsty and i need to work out a little. had too much chocolate today :>
i can't believe that i reached 1000 total followers!
like one THOUSAND!
this is insane. i don't even know what to say.
just thank you, thank you and thank you.
i potatoe-heart you all!"
so i finally found time to sit down and write something, i can't believe it's already 2012!
and i hope you had great holidays and a happy late new year ^_^
my birthday was about two weeks ago and my step father got me singing lessons,
because mom told him that i like to sing, which is really cool, because they are super expensive >_<
i don't really have new year's resolutions, because i think it's just a lame excuse for saying that you will do something, you don't have to wait for the new year.
but i think that i will improve my guitar and singing skills and just live life to the fullest.
mom is coming home in about two weeks, which makes me really happy.
lately i couldn't call her, cause i have school until 5pm almost everday and it would be too late to call her.
maybe i'll try it tomorrow. i never thought that i could handle cleaning, cooking and studying, but it does work.
okay, lately the house has been a mess, but i'm going to clean it tomorrow :P
i'm still really busy organizing prom and all the work are laura and me doing, but there are also two guys of our class helping us out, which is really nice of them, because on of them isn't even going to prom.
oh and i finally have a dress, but it doesn't look as good on me, because i'm short and the dress looks kinda big on me. but i'm going to wear monster heels, so the problem is solved.
i hope this year's prom will be better and i'll take more pictures than last year.
gotta go now, i'm thirsty and i need to work out a little. had too much chocolate today :>
tschwinnie
hi, i am jeannie (tsh-ee-nee). i am a blogger and musician. 16 and self-taught on guitar. people say diamonds are every girls best friend, but they are not. mine is a guitar. honestly, he is the only friend i have. my blog is about my life and all that stuff which is going on in myhead. kind of my online diary, but also a place where i can come to and get everything off my chest.
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